Unidentified

If any of you put a stumbling block before one of these little ones who believe in me, it would be better for you if a great millstone were fastened around your neck and you were drowned in the depth of the sea. Matt 18:6

Should this life story be included? It is the heartbreaking account of a little child who never had a chance for a normal life. At the age of two she was sexually assaulted by an uncle; this was followed by that of a neighbor when she was between the ages of five and eight, and a friend of the family when she was about twelve.

Unless one has experienced this kind of abuse there is no way to understand the havoc it wreaks upon emotional stability. This victim came to hate herself. In some perverted way she believed she was to blame. She became a self-mutilator, as though she needed to hurt outside as much as she was hurting inside. She slashed herself with knives and razor blades until there were times her arms were covered with gashes. Several times she attempted suicide and failed. All of this had physical consequences and medical doctors sought one cure after another for what had emotional cause.

It follows that her relationship with men was unnatural and unhealthy. When she did marry, the one she chose also had problems. The result was divorce and she became a single parent of one child.

It was the child’s questions about God that caused her to wonder if she was truly the atheist she thought herself to be. Her ponderings became a seeking to know and to have a true relationship with God. At about the same time she found a psychiatrist who furthered the healing process by introducing her to a 12-step program similar to that used in Alcoholics Anonymous and found for her a support group whose members shared an abusive background. These factors brought her the first peace she had ever known but nearly a quarter century of her life had been irreparably marred.

Why should this be told? (1) Because we live in an area where there is a high incidence of abuse. Victims may see in this true life account that they are not alone. Perhaps they can find help as was found by this unidentified person.

(2) Because it might be possible that an abuser would be touched by the results of such action and halt before committing it.

(3) Because it is consistent with the goal of this book — that readers might realize the variety of backgrounds from which we all come and the way our lives are influenced therefrom. This should result in greater tolerance and/or love for one another. This was surely part of why Jesus could pray even for those who had put him on the cross, "Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing" (Luke 23:34).

Return to main page for Recipes for Living 1996 by Fern Underwood

Last Revised April 29, 2012